A Generous Life

Happy New Year!  I can hardly believe 2011 is here! 

Okay, I actually say that EVERY January with surprise that the new year has arrived even though I’ve been anticipating it for the last few months.  So, I’m making a New Year’s Resolution to not say “I can’t believe it’s 2012” next year!  J

Speaking of New Year’s Resolutions, I have picked my theme for 2011.  For those not understanding, I don’t make resolutions at the beginning of the year; instead, I pick a theme and then set various goals around that theme. Last year my theme was Kindness, which inspired this blog (more to come in 2011!), and I had a fantastic year learning about, witnessing, and being the recipient of much kindness. 

This year, I had a few different, yet related ideas, but I couldn’t figure out how to combine them into one single theme and I was unsettled choosing just one.  Then out of the blue, inspiration hit at the oddest of events…strategic planning for a client.   What transpired to bring about my sudden inspiration is another story, but when I heard these words, I knew I had my theme that combined all of my desires for this coming year.

            Live a Generous Life

I immediately looked up the definition of generous and to my delight, there were three definitions that encompassed my other thought-about themes.

1) “Liberal in giving or sharing” 

2) “Free from meanness or smallness of mind or character; magnanimous; noble”

3) “Large; abundant”   

What I love most about these definitions collectively is that they combine the act of giving and sharing material abundance as well as giving, sharing and cultivating goodness of character. 

I am challenged to give more of myself.  

◉       I can give time

◉       I can share talents

◉       I can offer love, kindness, forgiveness and understanding

◉       I can genuinely extend compliments and praise

◉       I can be slow to anger and offense

◉       I can seek and create positive experiences for myself and for others

◉       I can be more concerned with how others feel

◉       I can cultivate a heart of gratitude

◉       I can approach each day with a determination to live present and live fully!

So here's a toast to a splendid 2011!  May yours be filled with the sweetness that comes from generosity and kindness.

Sweetie

A friend of mine was recently perusing my blog and taking in the comments that had been posted.  His response to my mom’s message was:

"Ohhhh...parents.  They can simultaneously elevate your spirits with words of recognition and praise and subtly remind you of who you are to them when they publicly toss out terms like ‘Sweetie’".

Ahhh…so true.  And I will shamelessly admit that I love being  “Sweetie”…and “Hon”…and especially “Monkey”…and all the other enduring terms and nicknames my parents call me.  

And I am so deeply affected by their praise and encouragement.  I am greatly blessed to know who I am to them…I am their daughter and they love me.  I am SWEETIE!  I know this not only by the words they say to me, but by the kindness and affection they show me…even now when they are halfway around the world.

There is something incomparable to the effect that words and actions of parents  have on their children, whether that effect is positive or negative.  And the incident that I recently witnessed made me think of how sensitive children’s feelings are and how simple acts of kindness can shape them into confident and kind adults.

One fine Saturday morning a few weeks ago, I was able to pull myself from the comforts of my bed to go on a long run.  I decided to head over to the track as I don’t really care for running long distances on the road.   Cars tend to zoom by at lightning speeds kicking up dust and leaving a plume of diesel exhaust for me to choke on for the next mile.   (I’m struggling to breathe as it is…the last thing I need is CO₂ getting in the way of my much needed O₂!)

Soon after I started my run, a few other people, including a dad and his two sons, began to show up to also partake in the spongy track surface.  The two boys with their dad are probably around 11 and 9…my best guesstimate.  They are all dressed in shiny basketball-type shorts, tee-shirts, running shoes, and ball caps.  The two boys are almost the same height, but the older boy is stockier and more heavyset than his lean little brother.  The older boy walked hesitantly behind his dad while the youngest boy, who has the energy that Red Bull has somehow magically reproduced in a can, darted and bounced up and down, back and forth…just being a kid!

So together, the three of them started jogging around the track and after about a 100 meters or so it was quite apparent that the younger boy was much more physically fit than his older brother.  Big Brother’s stride was short, but his steps were quick as he tried to keep up with his dad and his little brother.  After about a half lap around the track, he suddenly slowed to a walk, stopped for a breath and looked ahead at his companions as they continued on without him.  After a few seconds, he began to walk again, then started to jog a bit, but this time his steps were slower, his stride still short, and he sort of just shuffled along.

By this time I have lapped all three of them so they were behind me and I didn’t actually see what transpired.  But when I came back around the short end of the track and they were in my sight again, the dad was walking with his older son and the younger boy was in front of them further up the lane.  Dad had his hand on his son’s back, patting him gently, nodding to him and then together they jogged a bit.  When the boy needed to walk, Dad slowed to walk with him.  Then they would jog a little, then walk together.  Meanwhile, Little Brother would just run ahead, then turn around and run back, walk beside his dad and his big brother, then start the pattern all over again.  He did not seem the least bit put out that he had to adjust his regiment to meet the pace of his older brother.

What a kind gesture, I thought.  I don’t know what Dad’s objectives were or his motivations for being at the track that morning, and I played through numerous other choices he could have made…1) Dad could have chosen to just run ahead with Little Brother, 2) Dad and sons could have run at their individual paces and then gathered together when they were done, or 3) Big Brother could have sat down in the grass or played with a football until Dad was done with his run.  Whatever his objectives were, Dad chose not to leave his son alone, and I believe in that moment his choice was the most kind and, perhaps, what was most needed.

And who knows…maybe if Dad's choice would have been different than what it was, the result would not have negatively affected Big Brother.

But I am most certain that Dad’s simple act of kindness affected his son very positively.

I imagine in that moment that Big Brother was tenderly reminded of who he was to his father.

A Way of Being

I was chatting about my blog the other day with one of my dear friends, Dr. Jason Kolber (who, by the way, is an amazing chiropractor, business/life coach, confidant and friend...simply an amazing individual).  As we were talking about kindness, he made a statement that I thought was just beautiful. 

"Kindness is not just an act, it’s a way of being".  

I agreed and immediately thought of my sweet friend Emily Wise Rosell who is a true example of this statement.

I’ve known Emily since the moment she was born.  Our families have been inseparable friends for more than half my life.  And every time I’m with her, I’m reminded of why I love her so much. She has such a sweet gift of making people feel loved, wanted, important and accepted.  My story about Emily took place the night of her baby shower.

The thing that I love about bridal and baby showers is that they are the epitome of “girliness”.  Where else do you hear a synchronized chorus of high-pitched squeals and where the word “cute” is used as a noun, verb, adjective, and exclamation…sometimes in one sentence?!  I love that the guest of honor is treated to a delightful few hours having the world revolve around her, being the absolute and deserving center of attention, and truly being showered (pun intended) with love and gifts and just the deliciousness of Girl Time.

So, naturally, the night of Emily’s baby shower was to be all about her.  As her host invited her to be the first to partake in the smorgasbord of yummy food, Emily stopped to say hello to everyone sitting between her and the table and to thank them for coming.  As she approached one of her friends, she noticed a distressed look on her friend's face. So Emily knelt down beside her, thanked her for coming and asked her if she was okay.  Her sweet friend, who was there to support Emily, could not hold back her tears, and she began to sob as she quietly revealed to Emily a story of tragedy that had just occurred in her family.  She kept apologizing to Emily that she was distracting her from her party, but Emily would not leave her friend’s side until she was consoled and comforted as much as she could be in that moment.  Emily was not concerned with being the deserved center of attention...she was concerned with the needs of her friend.

As I observed this interaction from a distance, I was so absolutely touched by Emily’s selflessness, and yet I was not surprised by her actions.  That is who she is. 

It is her way of being.

And she makes a difference in our lives.

So thank you, my sweet friend, for always being my reminder of what the character of kindness looks like.

The Love Buzz

I know.  The little bee guy looks a bit goofy and you are probably thinking “Seriously?  You chose this as your blog mascot?”  Let me explain.

I found him in an industry publication a couple of years ago.   He was part of an ad for something I now cannot remember (effective advertising?  Maybe.  I’m sure I’m breaking all kinds of copyright laws by posting him here, though).   Anyway, he's kind of cute and I LOVED the tagline which was “Get Your Love Buzz On”.  (Ah – maybe the ad was for public transportation.  See…it was good advertising!)  So, I cut this little dude out and taped him to my home office wall because to me, he is a simple reminder to be kind..."buzz" around people offering more love, more kindness, more understanding.

I fail a lot of the time.

But I try every day, too.

Since embracing my goofy love buddy, I have been reminded of another great truth which has blossomed into my blogging idea.

We find what we seek. 

And I want to find and have more kindness and more love and more positive experiences in my world. 

Sometimes it’s difficult to find the positive through all of the negative and fear and commotion that we read and hear about constantly.

But truly, it exists.  And when we watch for it, we will find that it is abundantly prevalent.

This is why my blog is going to be dedicated to Acts of Kindness.  People are good and I want to keep a watchful eye out in my daily world to seek the good happening around me.  And I want to share what I find because I believe we are all enriched when we see and experience expressions of kindness.


So, here's to the love and here's to the Buzz!  Now, go get YOUR love buzz on!